Young trial lawyers asked me all the time, “how can I communicate better with my jury?”
You may be surprised with my answer.
I don’t send them to the latest trial advocacy books, videos or MP3s put out by the local, state or national trial lawyer organizations. I also don’t tell them to go down to the courthouse and watch what other lawyers do. After all, many lawyers go about trying their cases the wrong way so why duplicate mediocrity.
What I do tell them is to learn from the best of the best. Here’s what I mean…
The Funeral Parlor Director
In a tragic wrongful death case, your goal is to effectively share with your jury the grief and loss of the relationship a family is experiencing. How do you do this? Where do you start?
I recommend that you stop by the best and most reputable local funeral parlor in town and listen to several services. If you have a friend who works in a funeral parlor, ask what service he or she recommends. Pay attention to what’s said and how the message is communicated.
Watch how the highly trained funeral director interacts with his clients and the audience. Watch and listen to family members share their memories and stories. Do this and you’ll be reminded of the raw emotion death causes. You’ll know what to say the next time you talk to a jury.
Read what the best funeral directors read. Get a copy of “Endless Customers and Why They’re Dying to See You.” (OK, I made that one up but you get my point). Subscribe to undertaking marketing blogs. Walk in their marketing shoes for a week or two. The insight you’ll gain will be invaluable.
Starbucks Barista
When it comes to learning how to develop almost instant rapport with a jury, I remind young lawyers about how they felt the last time they walked into their favorite neighborhood Starbucks. How did the barista, who you recognize and know, immediately made you feel at home and connect (eye contact, smile, cheerful greeting). How, because of the barista’s confidence in her product, you knew you were going to have a positive experience with what happened next—sipping on a well prepared drink that you enjoyed immensely.
There’s nothing special about a cup of coffee. There is something special about the Starbucks’ experience. Make your next communication special and make your audience feel good. They’ll remember the experience and ask for a double shot of content next time around!
Get a copy of the portion of Starbucks’ employee customer service manual. Do the same with your local outstanding hotels and restaurants. Pay attention. What you can learn about communicating from these businesses is pure gold!
Women’s Shoes and Men’s Suits
Want to learn how to close a deal and make the biggest sale possible? Want to learn how to make that sale without communicating “buy me” or “you really need this”?
Then try spending a couple of hours in either the women’s shoe department at Nordstrom or the men’s suit department at Brooks Brothers.
I once had an acquaintance who worked his way through law school selling size 6 shoes to women with size 8 feet (I’m not making this up). While sitting in his department at Nordstroms, he would engage you with stories and compliments and reassure you about how good the shoes you were trying on looked on your feet. Most of the time, his conversation had nothing to do with shoes. He made you feel special and important. As a result, you walked out of the store with more shoes than your really needed.
In a similar fashion, a good men’s suit salesperson will engage you with this mystical and almost romantic dance pulling one dark suit off the rack after another. Before you know it he has 3-5 suits waiting for you to try on. When you do, and then get fitted, you feel like you’re ready for a walk down the red carpet. As when a customer leaves the ladies shoe department, you also walk out of the store with more than one suit and matching accessories like new socks, shirts, cuff links, belts and shoe polish.
Don’t even get me started on florist, beauty salons, and car dealerships. We can all learn a great deal about communicating from each and every one of these occupations.
I tell young lawyers to tap into the world of others and learn how they communicate their own unique message. Take what you’ve learned and genuinely mold the approach to you, your product or service.
Conclusion
The point I’m hopefully making is that we can all learn how to improve our communication skills by watching, observing, listening and then doing what other people do. Some of the best approaches can be learned from other people who have jobs and professions that have absolutely nothing to do with what you do. And that’s a good thing because using this technique will allow you to do things completely different than everyone else in your particular business or profession. You’ll stand out from the herd. You’ll be unique and memorable.
The takeaway- Look beyond the obvious to learn how to excel in your communication efforts.